


As It Should Be

by blk0912



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barson, Barsonoah, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25480603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blk0912/pseuds/blk0912
Summary: Rafael has been gone for almost a year and Olivia is struggling to keep things together without her best friend. How will she react when he finally comes home?
Relationships: Noah Porter Benson & Olivia Benson, Rafael Barba & Noah Porter Benson, Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 15
Kudos: 67





	As It Should Be

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't going to write a new fic, I swear. Then @millie_morris on Twitter came up with a scene snippet and my brain decided to run with it, with encouragement from some other Barson fandom friends there. So, this is for them. 
> 
> I also re-discovered the song "Cry Pretty" by Carrie Underwood and it reminded me of Olivia/I got Barson feels from it and my brain wanted to do something with that, too, so I combined the two ideas in this. If you haven't heard the song, go listen to it. My music taste varies pretty much by the day, but I absolutely love this song (and also relate to it a lot)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy! :)

* * *

After seeing Noah off to his sleepover, Olivia closed the door and leaned back against it with a sigh. She really didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts right now, but she wasn’t going to deny her boy the opportunity to spend time with his friends. Sonny was coming over shortly to go over some case files and she hoped that would distract her from feeling like she just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. She hadn’t had her best friend by her side for nearly a year and it _hurt_. Sonny was doing amazing as ADA, and the bureau chief for SVU was a good mentor for him. She was leaving soon, but agreed to stay on until McCoy could find a replacement. She’d rather have Rubirosa replace McCoy instead, but she could only do so much.

* * *

As he and Olivia were going over a particularly tough case, Sonny sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

“Hey, it’s okay, you can do this,” Olivia told him, placing a hand on his back.

“If Barba was bureau chief, I’d suggest we take this to him. Rubirosa is great, but she’s not Barba,” Sonny said, eyes going wide when he realized he’d voiced his thoughts aloud.

Hearing the catch of Olivia’s breath, Sonny turned to her and immediately started to apologize.

“Lu, you okay?” he asked.

Olivia held up her hand as she tried to keep her tears at bay. “Fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

Olivia attempted to stand, only to sit back down on the couch and place a hand over her mouth as tears began to fall from her eyes. When Sonny put his arms around her and hugged her, she began to cry in earnest.

“I’m sorry,” Sonny said. “I didn’t mean to bring him up. I know it has to be painful.”

“I just…want him…home,” Olivia managed to say. “With me and Noah.”

“We all want him home.”

“I love him, Sonny.”

“I know,” Sonny soothed, running a hand up and down her arm. “You can cry on me. Manda does it all the time.”

Olivia let out a watery laugh at that. “You know I’m happy for you guys, right?”

Sonny nodded. “We know. Jesse called me ‘Papa’ the other day, so I think she’s happy about it, too.”

At this news, Olivia began to cry again.

“Shit,” Sonny swore, remembering how Olivia told him that Noah had confided in her one night that he had wanted Rafael to be his dad. “I’m sorry, Lu.”

Olivia waved a hand in front of her face and shook her head, not trusting her voice.

* * *

A few minutes later, Sonny knocked on the door of the bathroom.

“Lu, you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Do you want me to call Amanda? I have to go meet with McCoy.”

“No, you go. I’ll be fine. I promise.”

Sonny wasn’t sure he believed her, but he didn’t want to push her, either.

“Okay, well, call if you need anything,” he settled on.

“I will. Thank you.”

* * *

After Sonny had left, Olivia walked into her bedroom and changed into yoga pants and an old t-shirt she wished was Rafael’s instead of her own. Taking a box out of her closet, she sat on the bed and opened it, taking out the items one by one. Pictures of Rafael by himself, of them together, of them with the squad, and even some of him and Noah together. When she came to her favorite picture of the two of them, one Sonny had snapped one night at Forlini’s where they were sharing a plate of appetizers and laughing together, she traced her fingers over his face.

“Come back, Rafa,” she whispered before she felt the tears begin to fall again.

Placing the items back in the box as best she could through her tear-filled vision, she closed the lid and moved it to the side so she could curl up on her bed. Letting all of her pent-up feelings wash over her, she was grateful she was alone. She could finally let go. She didn’t need to be strong for anyone anymore, didn’t have to pretend everything was okay when it wasn’t. Her best friend, whom she also realized too late was the love of her life, was gone and she wasn’t sure he was coming back. Cursing herself for not realizing it sooner, she cried harder before her sobs eventually subsided and she fell asleep from the exhaustion.

* * *

Sitting in his office, Jack McCoy was wracking his brain with a way to get Rafael Barba to come back to the DA’s office. He had given the man a year leave of absence in exchange for not outright resigning after the Householder case. The younger man had come to him and explained he couldn’t prosecute the case; that he had nearly turned the baby’s monitor off himself, and would have if Aaron Householder hadn’t shown up and done it himself. In light of the situation, Jack had had another ADA take over and the case was settled out of court.

When he got the email from Sonny Carisi, his newest ADA, who had both worked with and shadowed Rafael, requesting a meeting ASAP, he immediately replied back that he would be in his office all day and to stop by when it was convenient for him.

* * *

Holding the invitation to Olivia’s promotion ceremony in his hands, Rafael felt both sad and proud. Olivia worked so hard and deserved the promotion to captain, but he was sad that he wasn’t there with her. He wanted to be the one to escort her in, he wanted to stand in the audience and applaud, to dance with her and hold her close at the party afterwards. After buying the first ticket back to New York that he could, Rafael picked up his phone to make two important phone calls-the first to his mother, he would need a ride back to his condo from the airport, and the second to Jack McCoy. If he had his way, Olivia wouldn’t be the only one getting a promotion.

* * *

“Is everything okay, Sonny?” Jack asked as the younger man entered his office.

“You need to get Rafael back here,” Sonny answered as he shut the door. “He needs to come home.”

“I’ve tried everything I could think of…”

When Jack stopped talking and looked at his cell phone screen, Sonny wondered what was going on. He’d never known the man to just stop in the middle of a sentence. Everything made sense a few moments later when he heard him answer the phone.

“Rafael, please tell me this is you calling to tell me you’ve accepted my offer of the Executive ADA position and you’re coming back.”

“Actually…it is,” Rafael answered. “I have one condition, though.”

“Anything.”

“I want to be the one to tell Olivia.”

“Done.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

“I look forward to talking with you then.”

* * *

The next morning, as he searched baggage claim for his mother, he heard her say his name and turned around to find her standing there with tears in her eyes.

“Rafi,” she said, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Mami,” Rafael replied, hugging her just as close.

Lucia pulled back, framing her son’s face in her hands. “Are you really back?”

“I’m really back. I need to go home and shower. Then I have a meeting with McCoy to discuss my new position, and then I need to go see Olivia.”

“New position?”

“He offered me Executive ADA. I accepted.”

“I’m proud of you, _mijo_. Now, let’s get you home so you can get to your meeting and then go to your love.”

At Rafael’s confused look, Lucia laughed. “ _Mijo_ , I’m your mother, I carried you for nine months and I raised you. You think I wouldn’t know you’ve been in love with Olivia for a while now?”

“You can go ahead and say years, Mami.”

Lucia patted his cheek. “Bring her to brunch soon, yeah?”

“I will,” Rafael promised, hoping he would be able to keep said promise.

* * *

After his shower, Rafael chose a simple black suit, complete with a white dress shirt, suspenders, and striped dark green tie. Once he had put on his dress shoes and buttoned his suit jacket, he looked at himself in the mirror. It was almost as if he’d never left. Except he had, and he regretted it. He’d told Olivia he had to move on and left her crying outside the courthouse like an idiot instead of just telling her how he felt. Grabbing the invitation to Olivia’s promotion ceremony, he put it in his pocket before putting on his coat and heading out the door.

* * *

Walking into the precinct, Rafael was spotted first by Fin. Amanda opened her mouth to say something, but stopped when she saw Fin shake his head at her. Raising an eyebrow at Fin in a silent question, the other man nodded toward Olivia’s office and picked up some paperwork on his own desk, indicating she was busy with paperwork. Nodding his thanks, Rafael continued to his original destination.

* * *

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to RSVP to this in person.”

Dropping her pen, Olivia looked up to see Rafael leaning against the doorframe of her office, holding up a small piece of paper and smirking at her. Letting her glasses join her pen on her desk, she immediately stood and practically ran over to the man she hadn’t seen in almost a year, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck as she buried her face in his shoulder.

“Rafa,” she whispered as she felt his arms wrap around her waist.

“Liv,” he replied, closing his eyes as he held her tightly.

* * *

Reluctantly stepping out of Rafael’s embrace, Olivia reached for his hand and laced their fingers together before pushing her office door shut.

“What are you doing here?” she asked a little breathlessly, still holding tight to his hand.

Rafael squeezed her hand and then placed his free hand on her hip. “I’m home. You aren’t the only one who got a promotion. You’re looking at the new Executive ADA for Manhattan.”

Olivia smiled at him. “Rafa, that’s amazing! Congratulations!”

“So,” Rafael said as he pulled her close again. “That means that there are just two things missing from my life. Well, not things, _people_.”

“Really?” Olivia asked, her face close to his. “Who might those people be?”

“They’re a set. If you love one, you need to love the other.”

“L-love?”

Rafael nodded. “Mm. Love. You see, there’s this woman…I’ve been in love with her for a while. She’s my best friend. She has this little boy that she adopted a few years back. She encouraged me to spend time with him, and as she and I spent more time together, I got to spend more time with her kid. Turns out he’s just as amazing as his mother and they both managed to weasel into my heart without me realizing it was happening. She’s the only person I would call my partner and on top of being an amazing woman, she’s an amazing mother.”

“Rafa.”

“Hmm?”

“Just shut up and kiss me,” Olivia said, reaching inside his unbuttoned jacket to grab his suspenders and pull him close.

“No way in hell I’m arguing with that,” Rafael answered before closing the distance between them and pressing his lips to hers.

* * *

“Liv, we caught a vic…” Fin started to say as he opened the door to Olivia’s office and walked inside.

Olivia looked over at her sergeant and friend, her head never leaving Rafael’s shoulder and her arms staying wrapped around him as his stayed securely around her. Her leg was hooked over his as well, making sure he wouldn’t leave her again. She felt a bit like one of those spider monkeys that Noah had been fascinated with lately, but she could honestly say she didn’t care.

“Can you go? I’m in the middle of something,” she finally said.

Fin looked over at them and could only think one thing: it’s about time.

“You know what, I can take care of it, you just…stay there…I’ll lock the door behind me.”

* * *

Once Fin had left the room, Rafael turned his head and captured Olivia’s lips with his again.

“I love you,” he told her between kisses.

Olivia hummed with pleasure against his lips “Mm. I love you, too.”

Rafael let his head drop against the back of the couch as Olivia left a trail of kisses down his neck.

“To answer your earlier question,” she said. “You _will_ be my date to my promotion ceremony. You’re mine now, Rafa, and I’m not letting you go.”

“I’m good with that.”

Olivia laughed, pressing her lips to his again. “Stay with me tonight? Noah will be so excited to see you.”

“Will he?”

“Of course. Especially once he finds out you’re back for good. I’m warning you, though, you may not ever be able to go back to your condo.”

Rafael chuckled, giving in to the urge to kiss her again. “Or you two could come live with me there.”

“Or we could buy a house.”

“You want a house?”

Olivia bit her lip as she looked at him. “Actually, yeah, I do. Mostly for Noah. I want him to have a place where he can run around and be a little boy.”

“I get the feeling that there’s more you aren’t telling me.”

“I’ve been thinking about adopting again…I think it would be good for Noah to have a sibling…and I’d kind of like to have a little girl…Now that I have a full unit again, I can delegate more, try and leave on time more often and get more weekends off. I just didn’t want to do it alone and I know you love Noah, but is being a father something you even really want? Or would consider being for another child that isn’t Noah?”

“Livia, breathe,” Rafael instructed. After giving her another kiss, he continued. “Being a father wasn’t something I ever thought I’d do until I met you. As long as you’re by my side, I’ll adopt as many kids as you want with you. But maybe let’s start with me adopting Noah and finding a house, okay?”

Olivia nodded, feeling tears well in her eyes for the second time in as many days. Rafael was home and he wanted to be with her, to be a family with her and Noah.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, reaching over to brush away her tears.

“Just…a lot of emotions.”

Rafael tilted his head to the side, regarding her closely before pulling her back against him and pressing a kiss to her temple. “Tell me.”

* * *

Once Olivia had finished telling him everything she’d been thinking and feeling since he’d left, Rafael closed his eyes and pressed another kiss to her temple.

“I’m _so sorry_ , _mi amor_. _Te amo mucho._ I’m here to stay, _lo prometo_.”

Olivia nodded and then titled her face up for a kiss. “ _También te amo_.”

Finding himself uncharacteristically unable to find the words he wanted to say, Rafael tried to show her through their kiss how much she meant to him and how much he loved her.

* * *

After stopping at Rafael’s condo so he could pick up some things for the next few days, he and Olivia arrived at her apartment.

“Last chance to run,” she joked.

Rafael shook his head before pulling her close and capturing her lips with his. “I’m not leaving again,” he said when they broke apart.

Cupping Rafael’s cheek with her hand, Olivia leaned close to kiss him once more and then turned to open the door to her apartment.

As expected, she heard the sounds of Noah and Lucy playing in the living room.

“Noah, sweet boy, Mommy has a surprise for you,” she called as she led Rafael into the apartment.

“Mommy!” Noah exclaimed, stopping in his tracks when he saw Rafael. After getting over his shock, he quickly ran over to the older man. “Rafa! You’re home!”

Rafael dropped his bag by his side to catch Noah in his arms, lifting him to hug him tightly and press a kiss to the side of his head. “I’m home,” he repeated, settling Noah on his hip and reaching for Olivia.

Lucy smiled at them as she passed by. “I’ll see you Monday, Noah.”

“Bye, Lucy,” Noah said, his head resting on Rafael’s shoulder.

Closing his eyes, Rafael reveled in the feel of having two of the most important people in his life in his arms. This was something he’d only dreamed about. Noah was always happy to see him, but this time it felt different. More like they were already a family.

“You brought a bag?” Noah asked, noticing the object Rafael had dropped to accept his hug.

“If it’s okay with you, I thought I could stay for a few days. Spend some more time with you and your mom,” Rafael answered.

“You love us?”

Rafael nodded. “Very much. One of my favorite places to be is with the two of you.”

“Me, too,” Noah whispered, tightening his arms around Rafael’s neck.

Deciding to give her boys a few moments together, Olivia brushed her lips with Rafael’s before picking up his bag and walking back to her bedroom with it.

“I missed you,” Noah said softly.

“I missed you, too,” Rafael replied, hugging him close.

“Will you stay with us forever?”

“I would love to.”

* * *

After putting Noah to bed, and reassuring him that he would see them both in the morning, Rafael and Olivia went back to her bedroom and made love before cuddling together in her bed. She had resumed her earlier spider-monkey-type position, with her head pillowed on his shoulder.

“Noah asked me to stay forever,” he revealed.

Olivia smiled. “He’s a smart boy.”

“Is tomorrow too soon to start looking at houses?”

“I’ve already been looking,” Olivia confessed. “But I guess now we can afford something a bit bigger.”

“You can show me tomorrow after breakfast. I may have promised Noah that I’d make pancakes.”

Olivia laughed, reaching over to turn Rafael’s head towards hers for a kiss. “Don’t tell me he has you wrapped around his finger already?”

Rafael smiled against her lips. “You both do, and you know it.”

“I don’t hear any objections from you.”

“You never will, _mi amor_.”

“As it should be.”


End file.
